Al get the Bronco running!

OJ Simpson’s finally going to jail! Dude, age hits us all you can’t keep dodging those tackles forever. Was it really so hard to just sit there in Florida, play golf, and hide your money from Ron Goldman’s father?

Were they trying him for this or what happened in 1994? I should care, but I don’t. Sometimes you just need to get Al Capone for tax evasion. (OK, I don’t really believe this, but let’s try not to ruin the moment.) 

They even apparently managed to do it on the 13th anniversary of his epic acquittal. Nice symbolism Las Vegas.

What happens in Vegas truly does stay there - including now OJ for potentially the rest of his life.

Have fun in prison, buddy. I’m sure your knife skills will come in handy.

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Look I like the little man battles the big corporation movie as much as anyone, but I am not going to see a movie about windshield wipers!

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No, I’m not wondering how he can hit so well, although how he golfed a pitch he seemed totally fooled by that almost bounced in front of the plate into the stands last night, is pretty mysterious.

The thing I was wondering about last night was Manny’s helmet. I always figured that his Red Sox batting helmet, which looked as if it had been stewing in tobacco spit for 100 years, was so dirty and grimy because Manny had used it for years. But then last night I looked at his Dodgers batting helmet and wow, it was just as digusting as the one in Boston ever was.

Is there some sort of service that takes shiny new equipment and makes it look game (career) used? Maybe he stores it every night in a vat of battery acid.

UPON FURTHER RESEARCH: It’s apparently pine tar. I learn valuable stuff every day!

From the post game interview with Manny:

Manny, on that home run, you’re bent over, you’re stumbling out of the batter’s box, your helmet is coming off, your pants are falling down, and you hit it out. How do you do that?

MANNY RAMIREZ: First, I want to thank Joe for cutting my hair.

Of course, you do - your batting helmet is covered in pine tar!

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Apparently, Tony Mandarich used steroids in college, but stopped using them in the NFL.

Insert all the jokes you read about Clay Aiken coming out in People Magazine.

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