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Michael Jackson worked harder than Obama last year

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Just because you’re exploitively picking the last bits of meat off of a dead carcass doesn’t mean that there isn’t fertile ground to explore. Elvis’ last footage was horrifying and depressing - Michael couldn’t have traded the Beatles catalog for this much of an image upgrade.

See I’m willing to buy your cash in on MJ’s death products, especially if it’s actually well done like This Is It (Worst title of all time).

If he hadn’t have died and this aired on MTV before his 50 London shows, everyone would have said “I don’t care that he looks like Cesar Romero’s Joker - we’re going to London!”

Zero weirdness. Zero nuttiness. Just a super talented, extremely well trained entertainer working his ass off to put on a huge expensive extravaganza.

If Michael Jordan came back and worked this hard, he’d be dead now too.

This will probably be the highest grossing concert movie of all time and maybe it even deserves to be so.

It’s Truth or Dare minus the ego.

It may be editing, but the most amazing thing about this movie is that it shows Michael Jackson to be a complete perfectionist minus the diva antics. He wants things his way, but he’s immaculately polite at all moments. They could show Madonna like this, but there would only be thirty seconds of footage and it would have been staged in advance.

Sure, everyone within 50 miles has been told to kiss his ass, but maybe that’s actually been earned and is deserved.

The only downside is that MJ doesn’t come off as the singer he was because he’s clearly saving his voice during the rehearsals.

Extra points for the half black half asian chick who looks like the morphing effects from the Black and White video all by herself.

A lot of talented people working really hard to put out a good product. What a concept!

Last Week’s House for Aunt Sharon

House – Brave Heart

The beginning of House is always sort of a TV show in and of itself. It’s like you’re watching another show. Until of course something happens and someone starts to die. I’d sort of like there to be a surprise episode of House, where no one ever gets sick or injured. You know just take a re-run of Hawaii 5-0 and change the opening to House’s opening. This week on House nobody got sick and Wilson and House took a gay cruise to Honolulu.

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Larry David urinates on Jesus - the expected ensues

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Anyone who reads me (does anyone read me?) knows that my biggest peeve is essentially “Don’t be offended unless someone is trying to offend you.”

Well - here’s the latest idiot looking for headlines. On this week’s Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David had a problem controlling his urine stream and accidentally splashed a picture of Jesus making it look like Jesus had cried.

“I don’t think it’s funny,” InsideCatholic.com publisher Deal Hudson told FoxNews.com. “Why is it that people are allowed to publicly show that level of disrespect for Christian symbols? If the same thing was done to a symbol of any other religions—Jewish or Muslim—there’d be a huge outcry. It’s simply not a level playing field.”

Hopefully, Larry will just out and out urinate on a statue of Jesus in the season finale to actually give this man the real attention he seeks. This is a show where Larry hired a band to play Wagner on a fellow Jews lawn. It’s also a show where Larry mistakenly thought that he had been adopted and wasn’t Jewish. His response? He celebrated!

I want a job where I watch TV and report on it to easily offended people. “Boss! Boss! Bill Maher took the Lord’s name in vain 47 times this week.”

“Thank you, Brad. Have you watched all the porn I assigned to you?”

“Yes, but only ten minutes at a time and then I have to wait for an hour. It may take a while.”

Women are not smart daters part 1076

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Bill Hicks wrote a song called “Chicks Dig Jerks” and used to marvel at the women who wrote love letters to serial killers. I have a friend who is rich, good looking, and basically a complete neanderthal when it comes to women, and every one of his girlfriends that I’ve met claims that they are going to “fix” him.

Dig this.

People.com) — Jon Gosselin has more relationship drama on his hands.

Hailey Glassman said her reality star boyfriend is emotionally abusive — and she’s sick of it.

“He’ll call me and take his anger out on me,” Glassman, 22, said in a two-part interview scheduled to air on “The Insider” beginning Thursday. “He has ‘mantrums.’ I shouldn’t have to put up with being emotionally abused. I cry and say, ‘Why are you so mean to me?’ “

GEE, WELL MAYBE AT 22 YOU SHOULDN’T BE DATING SOMEONE WITH 8 KIDS GOING THROUGH A CONTENTIOUS PUBLIC DIVORCE!!!!!

The Voice of God

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Robert Laidman - my badass Grandfather - would have made a scarier Darth Vader than James Earl Jones, but had a heart of gold.

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