I was listening to a great old Howard Stern interview with Johnny Depp the other day. He had just done the movie From Hell, which I realized that I probably needed to see. I watched about 20 minutes and while Jack the Ripper was cutting out some “whore’s cunny” I realized that I’d much rather …
Continue reading “How I continue to keep tabs on so many quality movies”
Chelsea Handler’s whole career is basically channeling Joan Rivers. Her version is a little hipper – she basically just rebooted Joan’s sensibility and rhythm in a younger prettier possibly sluttier body. History should be kinder to Joan Rivers than it has been. She was brilliant for a long time before she made the decision that …
Continue reading “Chelsea Lately is essentially Joan for the past 40 years”
Til Death Us Do Part – By Ray Davies What can I do? How can I show you, And let you see, That I am someone, That you want me to be. I’m only me, Not someone better, Not someone good. I’d be a soldier, That’s if I only could. If I were king, I’d …
If you asked most parents the question – Would you rather have your son play pro football or smoke? I’m guessing that every one gasps and says “Are you kidding?” Most parents would celebrate if you told them that their son would be a pro football player. But think about it more closely.
Oddly, almost none of the obits I read mentioned Brittany Murphy in Sin City, which is odd since it was one of the best movies of the last decade. But even odder to me is that I just read that they announced that she died of natural causes. Can you really die of natural causes …
Continue reading “Brittany Murphy supposedly died of natural causes”
The most interesting thing about Brittany Murphy’s death to me was the Ashton Kutcher tweet that will go down as her eulogy. Ashton Kutcher tweeted about Murphy: “2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine,” Kutcher wrote. “My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon.” You know …
I don’t watch Animal Planet or whatever channel these idiots are on, but someone needs to either spay Michelle Duggar or shoot her idiot sperm filled husband Joe Bob. Michelle just weakly popped out her 19th kid. Now don’t accuse me of hating the wonderful experience of giving birth (which sea slugs can also do …
Continue reading “Will someone please spay Michelle Duggar?”
I could have sworn I already posted this but know that there’s sadness in the sarcasm I’m officially taking back everything I ever said about Chloe Webb. Hopefully, she will be happy to hear that wherever she is. The first 100 or so times I saw Sid and Nancy I thought to myself “No one …
Hello keith crime, So, you’ve made it another year, huh? Impressive. Well, impressive if you consider your festering stagnant life clicking over another year an accomplishment. I bet you woke up today feeling a little bit excited still, huh? Despite all your misanthropic bullshit, a little part of you – that little part that …
Actually after years of nonsense of this sort by me I learned that Neal Peart loved Keith Moon’s drumming. I finally got something productive from my insane ravings about Keith Moon and Neil Peart. That’s what we used to argue about in high school and nothing made me more insane than the Neil Peart …
Poker after Dark has shown some prime Ivey moments this week. At one point he says, “That feeling that you get where you have lost so much money that you can’t breath? I like that feeling.” I wonder if there has ever been a gambling intervention for someone who was a successful gambler. Do they …
Continue reading “Phil Ivey degenerate gambler moment #36,887”
That’s a great picture and possibly explains why Danny Ferry traded for Shaquille O’Neal in the off season. I’m pretty shocked at the legs that this Tiger Woods thing has had. These professional journalists are amazing when they are investigating something with a little sex in it. Illegal wars – not so much? I guess …
They are all based on more misunderstandings than a season of Three’s Company. Tonight on 90210 – Teddy is in love with Silver – Silver thinks that he is a player and can’t trust him – Teddy kisses Silver – Silver slaps Teddy – Silver reconsiders and goes back to try a new relationship with …
Continue reading “The idiocy of the night time soaps I watch”
(I’ve already lied because frankly I’ve laughed really hard at this horrible joke about Hitler and clowns that I found on the Internet, but it’s way too offensive to cop to here. Anyone who wants to hear it can email me. I am Jewish. I should be really offended. So if there’s a possibility that …
I wrote a 1500 word essay on Tiger and Elin today that is better summarized by one sentence I just heard from Howard Stern. “Without golf, this Tiger Woods is Urkle!” Well played, but in my defense look at who he’s now married to. He’s in a much better place to have concise insightful points …
Continue reading “Why Howard Stern Makes More Money Than Me”
