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My Favorite Jerry Springer Moment

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A very pretty girl was on once. She didn’t seem like the usual Springer contestant. She seemed even college educated, which I imagine isn’t usually the case. She brings her boyfriend out and the following unwinds

Girl: Jerry, my fiancé promised me that he wouldn’t have a bachelor party. I want him to admit that he had one.

The Fiancé: Wow, you are so paranoid. I never had a bachelor party.

Girl: I know you had a bachelor party because I sent the stripper.

The Fiancé: This is getting old. Are you going to be this suspicious when we’re married? I never had a bachelor party.

Girl: I know you had a bachelor party because I sent the stripper and she gave you a blowjob!

The Fiancé: For the last time, I never had a bachelor party. I’m getting a little angry!

Girl: I know you had a bachelor party because I sent the stripper, she blew you, and she was really a man!
The Fiancé: YOU PSYCHO BITCH!

Jerry: Let’s bring him out!!

Got to like a man who will lie to the very end, Lenny Bruce said, “Even if she catches you in the act … deny, deny, deny!” Personally, I would never cheat but maybe that’s just because I’m lucky to be with someone in the first place. As my ad says, “Terrible with women, so unlikely to cheat.” Of course, if I were Johnny Depp I suppose I might think a little differently.

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