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David Lee Roth and family.

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David Lee Roth has the best fake hair of anyone. So let the fun begin again.  

Beat It – Michael Jackson

The biggest value in music history: Eddie Van Halen tosses a solo onto a Michael Jackson song for free, Michael crosses over. The rest is history.

Hot for Teacher – Van Halen

“I don’t feel tardy”

A friend and I bought 1984 on cassette and when we popped it in to play side two Alex’s drum intro made us think the tape was being eaten. These guys are so endemic of what happens in music. Two talented guys mix together perfectly, can’t get along, separate and become caricatures of themselves. David Lee Roth never found a mirror he didn’t immediately fall in love with and Eddie eventually couldn’t handle it, after the fallout the world was a lot less fun. Listen to the guitar squeal on Panama and it’s like Eddie’s matching Dave vocally. Post Dave all the humor left his playing and I couldn’t have cared less about the band.

Who knows maybe it would have been all over anyway. After 1984 came out, one music magazine named Eddie not only best guitarist, but best keyboardist too, which was about as silly as any Grammy ever presented. Eddie’s infatuation with the keyboard led to one huge hit (Jump), and a complete watering down of their sound. When you have the most perfect rocket engine ever invented there’s no need to tinker, just ask AC?DC.

Eddie ruined guitar playing for about 5 years or so. It’s hard to underestimate just how much every single person in the world wanted to sound like him in the mid-80’s, but sadly no one else had his economy and pre-Sammy his humor either. Guitar playing isn’t about how many scales you can rip through at top speed, call it the Malmsteen era if you like.

Remember when the band and Dave reunited for about 30 seconds, and Eddie was angry that Dave hogged the spotlight and he couldn’t talk about his hip replacement. Who exactly did they think they were dealing with? Do you get angry at moths for flying straight towards light bulbs? How exactly did a band that seemed like it was having so much fun in its prime get so dour and depressing? The world was never the same once David Lee Roth started to lose his hair.

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