Axl Rose finally released Chinese Democracy - now I know that the world is finally coming to an end.

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Am I sick because when I heard about this video I was disappointed that the production values weren’t higher? Where was the ring? Why weren’t the babies decked out in spikes and leather?

On a more serious tip, notice that YouTube did the responsible thing and took down the video, whereas Good Morning America showed it on national television. It’s apparently ok to watch this sickness if you have a licensed professional there to tell the audience that it’s not something mentally stable parents should participate in. Of course, the Good Morning America clip was then posted on YouTube, which means that it’s once again there for the masses to see.

Posting sick stuff on YouTube bad. Televising the same clip and showing your outrage - responsible journalism.

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I like to consider myself a pop culture satirist. Today is a sad day for me, because I can think of absolutely nothing to say about this letter of “advice” that Pamela Anderson wrote to President-Elect Barack Obama that would be funnier than the letter itself.

Here’s my best effort - Pam how about getting someone besides Tommy to spell check your important missives. Damn. Not even close. Nothing is funnier than this letter so I’ll just reproduce it. Hopefully, Pam will not sue me.

Here it is Barack - now get on it - Pam has spoken.

One more thing Pam - erroring on the safe side by castrating all suspected child molesters totally contradicts your following point on Guantanamo Bay. I’d totally be willing to be your personal secretary. Believe me, there’s nothing about me that would make Tommy jealous.

(more…)

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This should be number one on products you don’t need. I was just at the library - er bookstore and saw that they are selling a puzzle of the Beatles’ White Album. I suppose if you are a first rate puzzler that this could be considered a huge challenge, but personally I’d prefer a mellower way to spend my time, you know something like sticking red hot flaming spikes into both my eyes simultaneously.

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I’ve seen this a bunch of times now - Peter Eastgate becomes the youngest main event champion in the history of the World Series of Poker and wins $9 million. Look at his reaction - or lack of reaction. That’s how I react when I realize that I’ve forgotten my keys in the other room and have lost 15 seconds of my day.

Jamie Gold was jumping up and down celebrating before his opponent even called his bet on the flop the year that he won. Maybe it’s a Denmark thing.

But, I mean c’mon - he doesn’t even smile!

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A friend abused me for my claim that I think Elvis could have sung opera.

What do I know about opera? Absolutely nothing.

When Elvis came out of the army, there was an attempt to have him sing more adult material, a few of them opera based. “It’s now or never” was O Solo Mia with the words rewritten. “Surrender” is another example. I’m not arguing that Caruso would have jumped up and applauded these efforts, but it’s not like Elvis had any training either - either way they show off an incredible instrument that released Country, Rhythm and Blues, Gospel, Rock, Hard Rock, and Blues music. Elvis was an expert in most of these catagories just from his innate love of music - the others he created.

So could he have sung opera? - if there are any experts out there let me know.

As for his instrument - he could do this with one foot solidly and sadly in the grave - “Hurt” from 1977

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Stolen from here.

http://hobbiesandpastimes.blogspot.com/2007/06/voices-of-elvis-presley.html

“The voice covers two octaves and a third, from the baritone low-G to the tenor high B, with an upward extension in falsetto to at least a D flat. Presley’s best octave is in the middle. D-flat to D-flat. Call him a high baritone.” “Moreover, he has not been confined to one type of vocal production” “He is a naturally assimilative stylist with a multiplicity of voices – in fact, Elvis’ voice is an extraordinary voice, or many voices.” – (Henry Pleasants, The Great American Popular Singers)

“I suppose you’d call him a lyric baritone, although with exceptional high notes and unexpectedly rich low ones. But what is more important about Elvis Presley is not his vocal range, nor how high, or low it extends, where its center of gravity is. By that measure, Elvis was all at once a tenor, a baritone and a bass, the most unusual voice I’ve ever heard.” – (Gregory Sandows, Music Professor at Columbia University)

(more…)

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http://blogcritics.org/archives/2008/11/16/114120.php

See my thoughts at the above link. You knew it would be overweighted towards the ’60s yet where in hell is Levi Stubbs!

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I grew up listening to Herb Score announce Cleveland Indians baseball games. He always appeared to be the nicest most gracious man alive, and never for a second seemed bitter that his Hall of Fame talent had been eclipsed by some epic bad luck. If it had been me, the whining would have been endless.

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Kneel Before Oprah and Kiss Her Ring

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