Best TV Quote of All Time


Brandon Walsh: Dylan, at this point in time, I’m just about the only friend you’ve got. You sure you want to do this? Push me away like you’ve done to everyone else?

Dylan McKay: Yeah! May the bridges I burn light the way!

I’m not 100% sure that this line from Beverly Hills 90210 wasn’t cribbed from somewhere else, but it does seem to be an Easter egg reference to “Dylan” Thomas who wrote “When one burns one’s bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.”

If anyone knows that it was stolen by a Beverly Hills 90210 writer or even better which 90210 writer wrote it, please let me know, because I’ve done 30 minutes of Google research and can’t find anything to dispute that these words were not first uttered by the great Luke Perry.

I am sadly antiquated

The internet and binge watching have really put a crimp into what was perhaps my biggest talent – an encyclopedialike knowledge of movies, television, music, sports and comic books.

Actually this should probably just be called I’m getting old – Me and my gnat like attention span so wish that I was sixteen right now.

I grew up with 6 television channels and insomnia. There were as many Blockbuster Video stores in my area when I was growing up as there are now – none. My insomnia was so bad that I would watch television most nights for three or four hours and then sleep in a lighted hallway reading the Encyclopedia Britannica until I finally fell asleep. Does a print version of The Encyclopedia Britannica exist anymore? (The answer is no:

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The Cost of My Personal Inconvenience


There is a book called the Black Swan where the author imagines the following situation. You are a Congressman who on September 10, 2001 spurs a bill to be passed making airport security tighter. You would in essence be the man or woman who prevented 9-11 from happening, but sadly instead of going down in history as the incredible hero you would be, everyone would instead curse you for their increased hassles every time they went to the airport.

I just told my friend that I would rather risk a 9-11 every few years in exchange for not having to take my shoes off when I fly. My friend wasn’t insulted, but he did act like there was no way I could be serious about it. Although I did say it facetiously, decisions like that have been made everywhere – people just don’t like to admit it.

It’s like the joke where the misogynist guy asks a girl whether she would have sex with him one time for ten million dollars and if she says yes, tells her that she has just shown herself to be a prostitute merely one with a high asking price. Now, I don’t do that or condone that kind of behavior, but I’m fairly certain every one has heard from that guy at least once in their lives.

But those decisions are made by our Government every day. Picking a speed limit is essentially deciding how many highway deaths you can live with for the right to be able to drive a couple miles faster per hour. If we topped out at 55 MPH, I’m sure a ton of deaths per year could be prevented, but it’s not worth the hassle.

So yeah, I’m saying it – whatever good the world is getting by making me take off my shoes 3 to 6 times a year when I fly isn’t worth it to me. I’d prefer that a couple people got taken out every few years by a shoe bomber.

This probably won’t be the view that makes me an American institution like Will Rogers, but there it is anyway.

Squeezing Mussels Embarrassment

I have to admit that I’ve heard Squeeze’s “Pulling Mussels (from the Shell)” thousands of times without having any idea what it was about or what it was a reference too.

But if it’s in a British song it’s pretty safe to just assume it has something to do with sexual intercourse.

Little Richard National Treasure

I can’t believe that I’ve never seen this before – it is so mind blowingly awesome that I feel honored just to be in its presence.

One of the coolest things I’ve ever read was a commentary on Elvis’ performance in the Million Dollar Quartet recordings. Elvis was talking about how much he loved seeing Jackie Wilson do “Hound Dog” and started imitating Jackie Wilson, which was essentially a white guy singing like a black guy singing like a white guy singing like a black guy.

This clip is Little Richard inducting Otis Redding into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Little Richard never has to do anything to be entertaining than wander the streets – that guy’s life has not been boring a single day and won’t be even after he dies.

But I didn’t know Richard was capable of this. He doesn’t get respect at times because most of his music has him doing a lot of screaming and there is none of that here.

Otis Redding started out recording songs imitating Little Richard 99.9999%. They were great imitations, but eventually Otis’ voice and style of singing changed.

Here is Little Richard imitating Otis Redding who started out his career imitating Little Richard.

He says he hasn’t sung like this in 30 years which makes the fact that his Otis Redding imitation is without a doubt a 1000 on a scale of 1-10!

Damn that plane ride that made him give up Rock and Roll.

Pretty much anyone who saw him live says their was no equal.

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