A-Rod is smarter than me

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Alex Rodriguez just admitted to steroid use by explaining he knew that he wasn’t taking Tic Tacs.

Sadly, I did.

Back in the day as a floor trader, when I was overly stressed out because things weren’t going my way, I’d have a clerk get me a package of Orange Tic Tacs. I would then devour the entire container in less than a minute. After all the Tic Tacs were gone, I would then chew on the container itself (first the white top – and then the clear plastic). The whole process took about three minutes.

It wasn’t a pretty sight.

Damn, I should have tried steroids.

As for A-Rod – genius – he turns an embarrassing potentially reputation shattering admission and turns it into an endorsement opportunity.

“Hi, I’m A-Rod. I only hit 12 homers this year on Tic Tacs, but my balls have returned to normal size, which is good because you don’t want to bring home shriveled testicles to Madonna!”

One Response to “A-Rod is smarter than me”

  1. I like how you picked the Tic-Tacs that resemble the color of his skin when he lies.

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