Elvis vs. Hitler


Elvis or Hitler? 50,000,000 Elvis fans can’t be wrong.

I’m late on this but I’d like to weigh in on the issue of the man of the 20th Century, and as I see it, it really comes down to Elvis or Hitler? Hitler is an obvious choice. Really when you see people voting for Churchill or Roosevelt they are really trying to put a good spin on an unfortunate situation. Churchill and Roosevelt just reacted to Hitler’s mess.  I know that people want to vote for Stalin or Pol Pot or some other guy who slaughtered more people than Hitler did, but for some reason those choices never got the pub that Hitler did.

Martin Luther King is a nice choice. He stood for good things. He was maybe good guy of the 20th Century. He cheated on his wife but at least his sexual habits were for the most part relatively normal. He perhaps almost single handed initiated the end of America’s inherent Constitutional hypocrisy that “all men are created equal.” But really he didn’t shake the world on a mass level like Hitler did. Perhaps eventually his message will permeate and he will be the man of all time, but you have to face it that when you concentrate on the 20th Century, Hitler really played havoc on a grand scale. Martin Luther King was like an ever quickening series of pebbles dropped into a smooth silent lake. Hitler was one big hurtled rock, which brings us to Elvis.
Elvis did really well on Time’s man of the century internet poll, but people acted like that was just fat old housewives voting. They acted like they were votes for Mickey Mouse in a Presidential Election with no really good candidates. Elvis deserves more respect.

Elvis vs. Hitler 

Elvis was certainly the nicer guy. This isn’t a popularity contest, but it should certainly stand for something. Hitler certainly would be remembered better if he had given away a few Cadillac’s from time to time.
Elvis loved his mama. Hitler hated his dad. Different paths to Freud-ville but on the same road nevertheless.

Hitler, to his credit, never shook hands with Richard Nixon, much less took a picture of it for his buddies.

They were both common men with meager births, which is impressive. Past centuries had been all about Royalty, with the exception of Jesus.

Elvis was much better looking than Hitler. In fact Elvis was probably the best looking man of the century. Hitler was among the ugliest.

Elvis had way better clothes in much larger varieties than Hitler.

If you had a poll on who was the coolest man of all time. It would be between Elvis and James Dean. A comparable comparison for Hitler is probably rectal itch or Soupy Sales.

Women liked Elvis more. You didn’t see films of honeys bawling at the Hitler funeral profession.

Hitler was a failed artist, whereas Elvis is perhaps the biggest popular artist of all time. Elvis was more democratic too. His art was easily accessed and obtained. How many people can really purchase a Picasso? Elvis’ work is just as vital, but more importantly it hasn’t been relegated to the sad lonely land of museum exhibits.

Hitler wanted his picture up on everyone’s wall. At the end of the century, he was still up on a few walls, but only certain people were allowed in that room. Meanwhile Elvis posters hang proudly to this day all over the world.

Hitler had people killed. All Elvis ever did was shoot a televised image of Robert Goulet. Even Frank Sinatra would have actually had Goulet killed.

Hitler had all kinds of assistants doing evil nasty things. The worst Elvis’ boys had to do was get the big man a Coke from time to time.

Both really excelled at exciting crowds. I think that we can all agree though that it is cooler to have young screaming girls at your performances than stiff regimented soldiers. Additionally, Hitler hasn’t aged nearly as well. To his credit he never had a fat period, but his shows don’t translate well anymore. People pay to see millions of Elvis impersonators every day, but there is little call these days for the Hitler Experience even with the mass Broadway success of the Producers noted. Sure people would probably love to still see Hitler dance, but that really wasn’t what he did at most of his live gigs whereas Elvis was known for it.

Elvis made a lot of bad movies. Hitler actually inspired a bunch of good ones!

Elvis rose to Sergeant in the Army. Hitler was only a Corporal.

Elvis was all about loosening up the world and setting it free. Hitler was all about regimentation and order.

Elvis and Hitler were both scary in their day. People got used to Elvis. People set out to have Hitler killed.

Elvis was excited to shake hands with James Brown. Hitler wouldn’t shake hands with Jesse Owens.

Hitler made them put up the Berlin Wall. Elvis was part of the reason why it came down.  Face it the real truth about the fall of the Soviet Union isn’t Star Wars or Reagan it’s all about blue jeans, cars, and Rock and Roll. Elvis was the first to embody all three and to this day nobody has done it any better though millions have tried.

Hitler lost. This is probably the deciding factor in the long run. Hitler’s revolution fell apart with a screeching halt, whereas Elvis’ is only getting more and more huge. People were terrified that Elvis would corrupt the minds and souls of future generations of youth all around the world and they were right.
Guitars over guns in the 21st Century

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