I Had Completely Forgotten About This Job

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I needed to get some licenses for a Chicago job that fell through. One was the stockbroker Series 7 and the other was a Principal’s 24. The Principal is the guy in charge of making sure nothing mega illegal happens. I went to this interview in the Larry Flynt Building. This guy Gary says hello to me and hires me in like 30 seconds. They don’t hire kids for paper routes that quickly. Basically he just needed a guy with a 24. I assured him that I had no experience doing anything that a Principal was supposed to do but essentially he just needed someone in the office who had passed that test.

I probably should have stayed at that job. He supposedly had a bunch of rich clients and the work seemed really easy. Instead of having to know about the whole universe of stocks this film would just pitch three or four to their customers at a time. They based all of their advice on technical analysis. Technical stock analysis is where people claim that they can predict the future movement of a stock or index by graphs and charts of what has happened in the past. Personally, I think it’s all a bunch of crap. These people have tons of worthless statistics and supposedly recognizable chart images. Look Microsoft is in the middle of a large head and shoulders period.

I went out and purchased a semi-nice wardrobe for this job, which meant that I went to Banana Republic and bought like $2,000 worth of whatever didn’t look odious to me. I lasted about 5 days. It had some great features. The hours weren’t bad. The office was five minutes from my apartment. They put together porn magazines upstairs. One day I heard Gary calm down a nervous investor. It reminded me a lot of the desperate guy that Al Pacino is working in Glengary Glen Ross who’s trying to get his money back before his wife kills him. I couldn’t handle ever having to do that. I was out of there about fifteen minutes later and I went home and had a really nice nap

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