I miss Mitch

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“I saw a lady on TV, she was born without arms. That’s sad, but then they said, “Lola does not know the meaning of the word ‘can’t’.” That, to me, is even worse in a way. Not only is she missing arms, but she doesn’t understand simple contractions. It’s easy, Lola – you just take two words, put them together, take out the middle letters, put in a comma, and you raise it up!”

 And don’t even act like those Snuggies people don’t owe his estate a ton of dough

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I’m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets. Fucking A! I’m already tucked in!

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