It’s Award Season


There’s some piece of nonsense on VH1 right now. There are dressed up people patting other dressed up people on the back for extraordinary pieces of sheer heroic art, you know like Cuba Gooding Jrs last Hanes commercial with Michael Jordan. Ross Matthews, the real life Pee Wee Herman and Jay Leno’s Larry “Bud” Melman, is now interviewing Queen Latifah, so you know that this is a big event! You’re so talented. No, you’re so talented! Your movie is even better than the movie I was telling George Clooney he was brilliant in a couple of seconds ago. Where is David Cross? Alvin and the Chipmonks rocked!

If I rented a convention center and bought some ugly trophys and said that I thought Julia Stiles’ performance in the Bourne Ultimatum was inspirational, would I get to meet her? What’s the minimum Jack Nicholson would charge to show up? Because I’m thinking if he shows up then everyone shows up. ‘

Anyone remember when the commercials on television were only 15% or so of the show? I hope Eddie Murphy wins something for Norbit, the sacrifice he put in for all that make up work! It makes me think, should Eddie wear make up when he goes out cruising for transexuals or can he only meet transexuals because he’s Eddie Murphy?

Oh my God, I’m wasting my life!

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