Larry Craig: Jobs I Don’t Want


I guess I could have a lot to say on Stallgate, but I’m sure most of it has been said. Essentially, if we removed the shame of homosexuality then people wouldn’t have to troll bathrooms for some strange.  So add another repressed closeted hater to the Roy Cohn, J. Edgar Hoover list.

The thing that hits me though is the two terrible jobs that this scandal has highlighted.

1. Supportive Spouse – This sucks. Daddy has just come home a disgrace and you need to be filmed and photographed next to the guy who has made your life a living hell proudly espousing the health of your heterosexual sex life. It especially stings if you just found out about your husbands proclivities. This type of nonsense is why we had to see Al Gore feel up Tipper at the 2000 Democratic Convention.

2. Bathroom Sting Cop – This guy has to spend all day with his pants around his legs flirting with random guys in the stall beside him, while doing his best to appear sexy through the crack in the door. These officers even go through special training to learn the ins and outs of bathroom stall hookups, which makes me wonder who it is that makes a living training the police about this meaty subculture. My tax dollars are being used for this nonsense? They can’t just post a mean looking guy at the door with a badge and have him yell out occasionally like Francis Sawyer in Stripes “Better be none of you homos tapping feet in there!”

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