My biggest flame out

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I have almost no ability to pick up women at bars or parties. The better the conversation I have with them the more embarrassed I am to ask them out and risk making them think I was hitting on them the entire time. I have no game whatsoever.

I have exactly one move and it’s fairly ineffective. I go up to a girl and tell her that she reminds me of someone famous.

My friend Kow¬†and I stopped by an Irish bar after seeing Ocean’s 12 together. The bar was fairly quiet and empty. As we were walking in, I mentioned that I thought Julia Roberts, who had just had a baby, had looked kind of haggard in the film.

Ten minutes later, I tell a girl sitting at the bar that in my opinion she looks like Delores O’Riorden, the singer from the Cranberries.

Immediately, and with perhaps a level of contempt never before seen in human history, she said, “I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t look like Julia Roberts.

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