Shaq and Tiger: Can you dig it?

shaq_ferry1.jpg

That’s a great picture and possibly explains why Danny Ferry traded for Shaquille O’Neal in the off season.

I’m pretty shocked at the legs that this Tiger Woods thing has had.  These professional journalists are amazing when they are investigating something with a little sex in it. Illegal wars – not so much? I guess this is what you get when all of our Harvard Graduates go to work for TMZ.

This is worse than when Kobe Bryant was accused of rape!

That’s why I love Larry Flynt and Barry Bonds.

When you are Larry Flynt, the press can’t damage your reputation at all because you’ve already let the world know that you don’t care. If the New York Times came out with a report that Larry Flynt had sex with a horse – he’d be responding that he never had sex with a horse, but that an antelope and a swan may have been in his past.

The same with Barry Bonds. You can be sure that this discussion came up more than once in Barry’s life.

Agent: Barry all you have to do now is smile a lot and you’ll be raking in the endorsement money.

Barry: No thank you, I’d rather just continue to be a jerk. I’m good at being a jerk. I enjoy it. The money wouldn’t be worth having to treat you peons with some respect.

Rappers and a lot of basketball players have reached the perfect solution. They call their shenanigans street cred and get the endorsements no matter how they behave. Think Alan Iverson.

Sure, Tiger has been cheating on his wife. Shaq has been cheating on his wife with Gilbert Arenas’ baby mama! No one cares – he’s Shaq.

The only real white guy pulling this off these days is Charlie Sheen. Possible domestic abuse issues, prostitutes, drugs, porn stars – and he’s still able to pitch underwear!

It’s either because Charlie is charming or because he didn’t name names in the Heidi Fleiss case and the other 9,000 people he covered for in Hollywood are taking care of him.

People are treating Tiger Woods like they believed he was Santa Claus or something. Strangely, if people had found out that Michael Jackson had been responsible for Tiger’s texts – the world would have celebrated.

If the world ever does attack America for war crimes, instead of the we were ordered to excuse, we’ll all be using the we were all too obsessed with celebrity carnality to pay attention, which I doubt is much superior on a moral level.

Discussion Area - Leave a Comment