The demise of the English language


The most interesting thing about Brittany Murphy’s death to me was the Ashton Kutcher tweet that will go down as her eulogy.

Ashton Kutcher tweeted about Murphy: “2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine,” Kutcher wrote. “My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon.”

You know reading that sentence would make Andy Rooney’s eyes pop out of his head. I’m always of the opinion that you should be open to new things and I dread someday looking like one of those crazed angry people smashing Beatles records, but I’d have to guess that intellectually that’s a pretty sad piece of modern journalism. Both that Kutcher’s tweet would be considered the major source to quote and that it’s filled with 2’s and ampersands.

I don’t know what the papers back in the day had to say about Lincoln and Kennedy when they died, but I’m guessing it was more impressive than Ashton Kutcher in Tweet-English.

Sure, it’s only a goofy actress, who somehow mysteriously went from being dumpy and ethnic to being the next great white hope for a couple of years.

I’m trying to understand, but at times I fear that Barack Obama will suddenly die and CNN will quote Jay-Z’s facebook page. “Homie was the King of Politics! Obama 4ever!”

That even actually scares me.

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