The Most Obsessed Friends Fan Ever

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I wish I was capable of writing something this insanely brilliant. This guy was from England and he posted one of these online for every single episode like he was analyzing the Viet Nam war.

 

The one where they all turn 30 by Tennant Stuart

After last week’s heavy episode, this was a refreshing light-hearted
romp through a nervous moment in most people’s lives – the first Zero
Birthday where you don’t feel glad to be older. Sadly Joey & Chandler
fell prey to the impossibility of telling 6 stories, and Ross’s tale
was little more than filler with an implausible ending that sounded
more like his father’s reasons for giving up the Porsche.

I was pleased to see Rachel come to her senses, and dump the odious Tag,
but oh how long it has taken! Six episodes never seemed so long. And yet
the breakup was so underplayed that I didn’t know it happened until she
told the others – and I’m still not sure it’s really over.
On the other hand I enjoyed Phoebe’s story, since it’s always great to
see the twins together, and the special effects were very neatly done;
while for me the stand-out Emmy-worthy turn was a delightful Monica as
a semi-controlled drunk, finally learning to look the world in the eye,
and embrace her thirties.

                             —o0o—

These are the dates when the cast turned 30, and their current ages…

                      Actor   Turned 30    Age

                       LK   30th Jul 1993   37
                       CCA  15th Jun 1994   36
                       DS   12th Nov 1996   34
                       MLB  25th Jul 1997   33
                       JA   11th Feb 1999   32
                       MP   19th Aug 1999   31

..as you can see, some of them are pushing 40, especially since only JA
has had a birthday so far. So what of their characters? They’re getting
older too, yet they still hang out like 20 year-olds, thus it seems that
some revising of their back-story is going on, such as happened to Ross
in early Season 3.

Just as Ross arbitrarily ripped two candles from Rachel’s birthday cake,
so the writers have ripped out some candles to make the characters’ ages
fit the plot line. However, all is not lost. Though the presence of Tag
means we cannot say that the entire episode was a flashback, there are
only these two references to Rachel’s age…

In 310 “TOW Rachel Quits” (aired 12 Dec 1996), Rachel says “I just don’t
want to be 30, and still work here”, to which Chandler replies “that’d be
much worse than being 28, and still working here” – but he could just be
picking another age that she could be. This is not a definite example.

However, in 416 “TOW the Fake Party” (aired 19 Mar 1998), Rachel called
herself a “28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip”, but now we know that
she was almost 27, if we stick to a birthday in May. Well, she had been
drinking, she had just hit her head, and maybe she was just overselling
her point since a 28 year-old cheerleader seems a bit more pathetic…

What we do know for sure is that Rachel is the youngest, and that Joey
is older than

Chandler so he’s probably older than Monica as well. In
fact, before Ursula corrected Phoebe’s age, Joey was older than her as
well, which confirms that he is the older of his two possible ages.                             —o0o—

In Britain, a Hippitty Hop is called a Space Hopper.

Once again we heard that Ursula is always one step ahead of Phoebe,
for she knows so much more about their past.

At last Phoebe was invited inside Ursula’s apartment – in 401 “TOW the
Jellyfish”, 503 “TOW the Triplets”, and 614 “TOW Chandler Can’t Cry”,
she never got past the door.

The effect shots of Phoebe handling Ursula the Hippitty Hop & walking
around her, were generally well done, though at one point Ursula still
looked ahead for a few seconds after Phoebe had sat down.

What exactly did Phoebe mean when she informed Monica & Rachel that the
Hippitty Hop was a godsend? I was a little puzzled at first, but then I
saw Rachel grab the Hippitty Hop for herself, Phoebe giving Ursula the
Hippitty Hop for the woman in her, and then a joke about marrying the
item – so I guess it’s the same as the bareback horse riding thing…

Did it seem that Ursula was more like Phoebe than she usually is?

Since Ursula has all the family papers, is this further evidence that
she never lived on the streets?

When did Phoebe lose a year? In her early childhood, or while she
was Street Phoebe?

What exactly is a Swedish runaway? Since Phoebe can’t get a passport,
is there a 31 year-old Swede in jail somewhere, insisting that she’s
not Phoebe Buffay? And could Phoebe claim to be the runaway, get sent
back to

Sweden, and from there travel to Minsk?How did Phoebe ever get a driver’s license without a birth certificate?

Phoebe can always use the details on Ursula’s birth certificate to
get one of her own.

Phoebe should have asked Ursula if she knew her *first* name – maybe
it begins with a ‘U’.

After the events of Phoebe’s 31st birthday, is she now on better terms
with her sister? Will we see more of them together? Is building the new
set at last a good sign?

What what what about sniper school? Are we ever gonna see this?

What crimes *did* Phoebe commit when she lived on the street? We’ve
already seen that she’s a skilled pickpocket, and now we learn that
she’s practiced at breaking into cars.

When the alarm went off, why did Ross need to hide from the cops?

Having been forced to give up his sports car, no wonder Ross was
so incensed by Monica’s Porsche.

When Ross was yelling at his friends to LIFT AND SLIDE, it was
reminiscent of his classic PIVOT! PIVOT! in 516 “TOW the Cop”.

Although this episode was made well before 712, it’s still valid to ask
where Monica keeps her Porsche, if owning one in the city is so stupid?

Confession time – I owned an MGB Roadster by the time I was 30, but it
was way cooler than Ross’s for it was not red but British Racing Green
(okay so I never raced it). Monica was correct about the stupidity of
owning a car in the city, but Ross was foolish to sell it just because a
much older guy had one. And the MGB *was* a babe magnet – look at how
Rachel, Phoebe, and passing women reacted.

Jack & Judy were very nice to

Chandler, so Monica’s 30th must be after
609, and in any case she must be about the same age as Rachel. However,
a revision of the pair’s ages will satisfy those who want Chandler to
be rather older than Monica.It was so nice to see that Monica is a happy drunk. When she declared
that there was one thing she really wanted to say, I suddenly hoped
she was going to yell out WATER RULES!

And then I hoped she would knock Judy’s block off…

At what age were you able to tell *your* parents of all the bad things
you have ever done?

Ross has moved on from 110 “TOW the Monkey” – where he used Janice’s
camera to snap the most embarrassing events at the New Year’s do – for
he grabbed his dad’s camcorder to video Monica crashing to the carpet,
and then panned to Phoebe for the rest of the floor show…

Since Rachel is not a morning person, you would think that Monica would
know better than to arrange a birthday breakfast.

There have been many references to Rachel’s birthday being in May,
so is that when the episode is set, with the rest of the season
spanning the summer?

Rachel thought of having something pierced, and dismissed the pain, so
Phoebe pinched her. But it was Phoebe who chickened out at the tattoo
parlour in 216 “TOW Joey Moves Out”.

Some heavy hints were dropped when Monica was surprised by Rachel’s
plan to wait a year after marrying before having children, and she
told

Chandler to look at her all he wants, it’s happening!And there was a lovely moment as Monica let slip that she has never
liked Tag at all – good for her!

Although the Barcalounger is seen intact at #20, this was only in a
flashback. But then where was the Lazy Boy in the present day?

Tag may no longer be Rachel’s boyfriend, but he’s still her assistant,
or is he? Does she sack him as well?

This was Eddie Cahill’s 6th episode, so maybe it was his last. If so,
at least he did not suddenly develop an unpleasant character trait,
which would have so pleased Claire if only she was watching…

Not counting the flashbacks to who-knows-when, we have now had *FOUR*
Rachel birthdays, and one each for Joey & Ross. So what about Phoebe,
Monica, and especially

Chandler then?There was some splendid foreshadowing for Ross & Phoebe fans, but then
we were rocked back on our heels by *that* kiss! But although Phoebe did
enjoy it, don’t forget that it took place in the past, and anyway she was
far more wowed by Joey’s kiss in 117 “TOW Two Parts (part 2)”. I suspect
that it was only there for promo fodder in the same way that R&R moments
are. Meanwhile, there was hope for their fans too, since Rachel was also
turned on by Ross’s MGB, and Joey was just as childish with the scooter.

In the

USA, this episode had no proper tag. For the credits, the west
coast had a preview of the following SNL special, while the east coast
showed a promo for Wednesday’s programmes. However, even if the credit
sequence is included, the total running time was only 24:45, nearly 3
minutes shorter than last week’s episode. On the other hand, it’s could
be that in Britain we will have a bonus scene, it’s happened before.And finally, here’s a big question – which episodes from the show would
match the clothing & hairstyles seen for the five earlier thirtieths?

No spoilers PLEASE from anyone who has already seen episode 715.

Tennant Stuart

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