There is no indignity too expensive to suffer!

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I continue my life as Brian Wilson minus the money and catalog of classic works

I recently decided that I was going to make sure I didn’t flake out in the middle of my new trading job by moving 15 boxes of books across 3 states. I was making a failure too expensive to suffer. Now, after quitting yet another job, I’m stuck with all these books and the bookcases I bought. There is, apparantly, no indignity too expensive to suffer.

This now makes my panic attacks’ record – 10-1, the serious ones though are now 5-0 and bragging about it. When I get that magical feeling, I know that it’s over and the only way to cure myself is to decide to fail instantly. Self sabatoge.

People think I’m strong with brains (certainly my brawn’s done me no good so far).  The truth is I crack like a little girl. No mental toughness.

I’m the guy who rats out his crew with the least amount of dangerous “persuasion”. I not be mentally strong! Sigh, pray for me Jesus.

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