Sadly, Bill Hicks is never dated
“Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired, go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Here, here’s American Gladiators, watch this, shut up, go back to bed America, here is American Gladiators, here is 56 channels of it, watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go America—you are free to do as we tell you! You are free to do as we tell you!”
Imagine my horror when, innocently channel-surfing (ie, wasting more minutes of my finite and ever-depleting life), I found the “New” American Gladiators.
Even worse, now they have some joker named “Wolf” who refers to the contestants as “meals” and who actually howls when he manages to take down some air conditioning repairman from Tuscaloosa…
…not to mention “Wolf” and his ilk get to practice on the “challenges” at least once a week while for most of the contestants, they get ONE shot at it.
I’m all for gladiatorial TV—but lets be honest about it. Instead of grainy video of people getting blown up on the other side of the Earth, the least we could do is kill some of America’s genetic waste for the entertainment of the rest of America’s knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers. The kill ratio in NASCAR is simply NOT ENOUGH.