In 1977, a guy named Mark Perry made his biggest contribution to rock history when he wrote that “Punk died the day the Clash signed to CBS.”
Many people wrote similarly about Elvis after leaving Sun for RCA, but years after it happened.
Here is what Elvis would have said about it.
Hilariously, to me at least, this is what I wrote in 2005.
Before Colonel Tom Parker castrated him, Elvis was the pure definition of a bad motherfucker. “Hi, how are you doing? Tonight I’ll be singing music the world hates dressed like the first white pimp. Oh and by the way, I’ll be shaking like I’m being electrocuted right after hopping on to your daughter! Thank you. Thank you very much.” With Elvis, it was even money on whether he’d be a star or hanging from a tree by the time he was 21.
Let’s hear from the gospel of Rolling Stone Magazine, “Elvis Presley’s greatest work came during his time with Sam Phillips and during his late 60’s comeback.”
Rubbish. I hate those guys. The coolest man who ever lived was the coolest man who ever lived when he recorded for RCA until he got sent a ticket by Uncle Sam over to Germany.
If I have to hear one more guy ejaculate over “Mystery Train” and discount what followed, I’m going on a shooting rampage. Don’t be ashamed to worship “I Want You, I Need You, I Love You” or any of his other 50’s turbo fueled RCA product.
Has anyone ever been that all over the map and this powerful all at the same time? I can see him thinking to himself “nice lyrics but it could use some ums, uhs, and yeahs.” Listen to that boy! He thought he could do anything and for a while, he could.
So in actuality, my real ten slot is “The King Of Rock ‘N’ Roll: The Complete 50’s Masters.”
But that’s a five CD box set. If you are rich and want a 100 Essential Box Set list, pay me a bit and I will write you one, but that is kind of cheating. This box set contains everything Elvis recorded in the ’50s chronologically and includes all of the “The Sun Sessions” album as well as songs recorded at Sun not on that album, including the first acetate he paid to record “My Happiness.”
It spans every genre of music ever in ways that were completely incomprehensible for people to understand at the time. If I had to choose between that box set and the rest of this list, I would immediately grab that box set and clutch it to my chest like it were a parachute after I’d just been tossed out of a B2 bomber over Russia during the cold war, and with it I would perhaps end the cold war.
When Elvis signed with RCA, he was 20, and RCA had absolutely no idea what to do with him other than to distribute his Sun material. They didn’t even know how to reproduce the slap back echo that Sam Phillips did create on those songs.
Chet Atkins was around, but added very little of note. Steve Sholes was nominally the producer of most of Elvis’ early RCA recordings. Sholes had a lot of country music credibility, and RCA had a lot of great country artists on their label. RCA knew nothing about R&B and even less about rock and roll.
Who made every decision about what Elvis recorded and how it was recorded? Elvis Presley.
He was in charge of everything. He picked the songs; he decided how they would be arranged; he decided how they would be sung; and he decided what was and wasn’t a mistake.
In a lot of cases what people would call a mistake, Elvis would correctly tell them was the key to the whole song. Some of those mistakes were accidental, but in some cases they were done on purpose.
Elvis’ ears decided what would or would not stay.
He decided how many takes there would be and which take would be used. In the studio at RCA, people did what they were told no matter how talented they were. The final say was always Elvis’ and yes he probably still did it politely and called his elders “Sir.”
So yeah, he never wrote a song in his life or even tried to officially, but in perhaps only this case that hardly mattered.
Maybe the worst thing on it is Elvis’ mature version of “Old Shep,” which was written in 1933, and is pretty much exactly “Old Yeller,” which came out in 1957 a year after Elvis recorded his dead dog dedication.
The only difference is that Elvis can not bring himself to shoot Shep; Shep does not have rabies, and Shep is considerate enough to put his head down on Elvis’ knee; show him how much he loves him; and die peacefully on his own.
It is maudlin, but sometimes a good cry is cathartic, and as Bill Murray said in Stripes, “Who saw ‘Old Yeller?’ Who cried when ‘Old Yeller’ got shot at the end? [raises his hand] Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I’m sure. [hands are reluctantly raised] I cried my eyes out!”
“Old Shep” is also a very historically significant song in Elvis’ life.
On October 3, 1945, Elvis Presley sang “Old Shep” at age ten for his first public performance, a singing contest at the Mississippi-Alabama Fair and Dairy Show. Dressed as a cowboy, he stood on a chair to reach the microphone. He came in fifth place, winning $5 and a free ticket to the fair rides. At sixteen years of age, in 1951, he again performed it for a talent show at L. C. Humes High School, where he was a student, winning an encore for his performance.
My mom watches every musical talent contest currently on television, which frustrates me because I try to show her real music and she isn’t that interested. So I tell her that she really doesn’t like music she likes game shows, which is true.
I’m not really happy with all the music game shows on television now, but I do know two things.
Elvis appeared in every talent show he could find, and John Lennon would have gone on “American Idol” if he had the chance when he was an unknown.
My real number ten then will be a compilation. This by nature of its awesome title and its gold lame suit has the best cover.
But this is what I grew up with since 1977 so it is #10
Nine number 1 hits, one number 2 hit, and “Treat Me Nice” was a B side that if released as an A side would have been number 1.
I’ll only talk about one song on this album, which will seem like belaboring the point, but by now hopefully you understand that no point to me is more worth belaboring.
I took a musician friend to a Jeff Beck show and was forced to hear about poor “Big Mama” Thornton for the 18,757th time.
I wasn’t in the mood to fight and the show was about to start so I just said, “You do realize that song was written by two east coast white Jewish boys with zero blues credibility?” He didn’t believe me and the lights came down, but it is true. In fact one of the two bragged that it only took 12 minutes to write. We aren’t talking about the Sistine Chapel here.
So that’s a blues song. It sold a lot of copies. If you love it that’s cool.
My guess is that people have bitched about some perceived crime against its singer a million times more than people who have actually heard it or own it. So next time you hear someone cry about “Big Mama” Thornton look at their iTunes and see if it’s on there because I’ll bet every person who says it $100 that it isn’t on there, and I’ll even go double or nothing on whether they’ve actually heard it.
Between its release in 1952 and Elvis’ cover from 1955, it had been covered, responded to, parodied, and fucked with in every imaginable way.
Elvis was essentially like the 1000th guy who covered “Yesterday.” Elvis recording the song did nothing, but help her career, make her money, and give her perhaps more of a legacy than she ever deserved. That is a blues song, albeit kind of a silly one, with a lot of barely “double” entendres.
The vocalists voice is actually fairly distinctive, but she made very little money from it (which had nothing to do with Elvis Presley) and unless you know every Robert Johnson song ever recorded and every variation of his songs, you have no idea what “Big Mama” Thornton did between recording it and hearing Elvis’ version for the first time.
If you know who “Big Mama” Thornton is, you only know her because of Elvis Presley. If you are the president of a fan club dedicated to her work, you still first heard of her because of Elvis Presley.
Elvis Presley was indeed a bigger fan of “Big Mama” Thornton’s than any of those people, and really her version had almost nothing to do with his.
If Elvis lifted “Hound Dog” from anywhere it was from here:
Now that is exactly what people who rightfully cry about “cultural appropriation” are correct about. It’s been de-fanged and de-sexualized, it’s inferior to any real rock and roll, and it’s stupid and silly. If you want more examples of this type of behavior research Pat Boone and the Crew Cuts.
Here are the lyrics to Bill Haley’s “Shake Rattle and Roll,” and Bill Haley, before Elvis, was exactly the best case scenario.
Get out from that kitchen
And rattle those pots and pans
Get out from that kitchen
And rattle those pots and pans
Well, roll my breakfast
‘Cause I’m a hungry man
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
Well, you’ll never do nothing
To save your doggone soul
Wearing those dresses
Your hair done up so nice
Wearing those dresses
Your hair done up so nice
You look so warm
But your heart is cold as ice
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
Well, you’ll never do nothing
To save your doggone soul
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
I’m like a one-eyed cat
Peeping in a sea food store
I’m like a one-eyed cat
Peeping in a sea food store
I can look at you
‘Til you don’t love me no more
I believe you’re doing me wrong
And now I know
I believe you’re doing me wrong
And now I know
The more I work
The faster my money goes
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
I said, shake, rattle, and roll
Well, you’ll never do nothing
To save your doggone soul
Shake, rattle, and roll
Here are the lyrics to Big Joe Turner’s original.
Get out of that bed, wash your face and hands
Get out of that bed, wash your face and hands
Get in that kitchen, make some noise with the pots and pans
Way you wear those dresses, the sun come shining through
Way you wear those dresses, the sun come shining through
I can’t believe my eyes all that mess belongs to you
I believe to my soul you’re the Devil in nylon hose
I believe to my soul you’re the Devil in nylon hose
Well the harder I work, the faster my money goes
I said shake, rattle and roll, shake, rattle and roll
Shake, rattle and roll, shake, rattle and roll
Well, you won’t do right to save your doggone soul
Yeah, blow Joe!
I’m like a one-eyed cat peepin’ in a seafood store
I’m like a one-eyed cat peepin’ in a seafood store
Well, I can look at you till you ain’t no child no more
Ah, shake, rattle and roll, shake, rattle and roll
Shake, rattle and roll, shake, rattle and roll
Well, you won’t do right to save your doggone soul
I get over the hill and way down underneath
I get over the hill and way down underneath
You make me roll my eyes, even make me grit my teeth
I said shake, rattle and roll, shake, rattle and roll
Shake, rattle and roll, shake, rattle and roll
Well, you won’t do nothin’ to save your doggone soul
There was a lot of cleaning up done by Haley. Basically he took an X rated film and made it at worst PG-13. Haley’s version still has some of the misogyny in it for better or worse. The most shocking thing about Haley’s version is that he kept the “one eyed cat peepin’ in a seafood store” line in there somehow. So yeah, Haley was before Elvis the best case scenario, if you liked your rock and roll filthy.
Elvis was not a filthy person, but he never changed lyrics.
So go here and see Elvis sing a medley of Turner’s “Shake, Rattle and Roll” and his “Flip, Flop and Fly.” Then watch him sing Ray Charles’ “I Got a Woman.”
There is a ton of misogyny, for better or worse all of rock has misogyny, and it is somehow followed by a monkey act. It was the ’50s.
See exactly which lyrics he keeps (all of them) and then realize how none of it sounds anything like the originals, but are perhaps more dangerous and ferocious than the source material.
Elvis Presley on the Dorsey Brother’s Stage Show
Better yet, if you truly want essential, buy or rent “Elvis 56” ASAP!
There you will hear the wonderful Southern accent of Levon Helm take you through the world shaking eruption that was Elvis Presley in 1956. You will see every TV show performance from that year, which were basically all of his TV show performances until the 1968 comeback special.
He will start out on the “Dorsey Show” as untamed as a wild bull and end up on the “Sullivan Show,” being filmed only from the waist up.
You will see what a genuinely nice and humble person he was, but you will also see how incredibly fucking dangerous he was through his appearance on “The Milton Berle Show” performing “Hound Dog,” what they did to him after that, and how he felt about it and dealt with it.
Chuck Berry was dangerous, Little Richard was dangerous, Jerry Lee Lewis was psychotically dangerous, but they could keep them marginalized.
Elvis Presley was a motherfucking force of nature never seen before or since. They were damn right to be scared shitless!
So what’s up with “Hound Dog” then? The answer is that just like when you saw him laugh to Jackie Wilson about what they were doing to him on the “Sullivan Show,” musically when he wanted to he had a great sense of humor.
In fact, when you see him perform “Hound Dog” on “Berle,” the performance that woke up white America and made them wet their beds, you can see how funny it all was to Elvis.
So yeah, Elvis saw Freddie Bell and the Bellboys do their lame version of “Hound Dog.” He recognized what an incredibly pathetic joke it was. So he asked permission from them to do his own “take off” on it and received it.
Back in the studio. He basically much like Ray Davies did with “Lola” said, “You want cleaned up, de-sexed, versions of ‘vulgar’ black material? Cool, here it is. It will still kick ass; it will still be dangerous; it will define the pure essence and joy of rock and roll; it will be funny as hell, and it will still scare the shit out of you!”
That delivers on that threat and it didn’t hurt “Big Mama” Thornton one bit. In fact, it probably thrilled her as much as it did anyone else who could tell kick ass from lame.
Find me a guitar solo as ferocious as Scotty Moore’s there in a song by a white man before July 13, 1956 and then tell me about “cultural appropriation” and again if you want to cry about that, I am on your side in nearly every case, but in this case those are fighting words.
He recorded that song 30 times and he insisted that take 28 be used. They would have been happy with take 1. By take 18 they were begging him to stop. He knew exactly what he was doing at all times and didn’t stop trying to do it until he was sure that he had done it.
There were of course repercussions for that kind of behavior, which should make you wish like I always have that “Col.” Tom Parker, who was a greedy asshole, was more like Peter Grant, the violent greedy asshole who managed Led Zeppelin.
Remember the words of the song written by Cricket Sonny Curtis in “I Fought the Law.” Everyone sings that song proudly, but in the end almost all of the time just like in that song “the law won.”
At one point Elvis had to sing to a basset hound in a Tuxedo, which he was definitely incensed about, but took in stride publicly.
It took exactly the law to take Elvis and rock and roll died. The man who coined that term took the fall.
The man who was more guilty of Freed’s made up crime actually rose from the wake and has done more damage to good music than any man in American History.
You can see my somewhat hyperbolic explanation of that and his views on “Hound Dog,” which prove my point in “Dick Clark is the Anti-Christ”.
Elvis Presley was drafted on December 10th, 1957.
As for the real cultural appropriators behind “Hound Dog,” Jerry Leiber and Mike Stollar, Stollar at the time the record hit was on the ill fated wreckage of the “Andrea Doria” and was in pretty bad shape when a justifiably excited Jerry Leiber told him about their incredibly good fortune during his ocean disaster. Stoller’s first response was, “Who is Elvis Presley?”
After Stoller found out, no matter what memoir by them you read, they got themselves on the Elvis money train as quickly as possible and wrote a ton of great songs for him. Elvis was I believe actually the first white artist for whom they wrote.
They wrote lots of great songs for the Drifters, the Robins (who became the Coasters), and many other great artists. They wrote “Stand By Me” with Ben E. King. They even got themselves their own historically inaccurate, hit Broadway Musical.
