We regret to inform you that all trading in Charlie Sheen Death Pool securities has been halted.
Charlie Sheen is mad. Charlie Sheen just went on the counter offensive – I’d compare it to a blitzkrieg middle finger to anyone that doesn’t agree that the key to life’s happiness is hookers and blow. Charlie Sheen laughs at how mellow Keith Richards has lived his life. First he went to the radio and showed himself to be completely insane – although likely a happier one than anyone wants to admit. Then he attacked the producer of his show for calling it a season. Extra Points for the anti-Semitic rant on Chuck Lorre’s real name, which takes balls since his real name is really Estevez and not Sheen.
They wanted Charlie Sheen to go to rehab and he said “no no no”!
And yet since Charlie is worth billions to the entertainment industry, he really still holds all the cards.
Charlie did rehab at home on an off day. Bing: I’m clean! Now bring me some porn stars.
At this moment Charlie has been sober for 57 seconds, but he does seem to be reaching for a bottle of Scotch.
Charlie is trying to live harder than any man ever has. He fully seems to believe that you’re born and you start living that life like you were on fire and desperate for as much debauchery as humanly possible.
Jim Morrison, Charlie Parker, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis – those pussies. Charlie Sheen has out lived them all by doing everything that they did but in bigger and more amazing fashion.
One thing that Sheen has that those other casualties failed at is this – He’s the biggest star on TV and outrageously still earning tons of money.
Charlie Sheen is lost weekending his entire life. Hunter S. Thompson and William Burroughs seem to be the only men that Sheen has yet to outlive.
Charlie Sheen has been on fire for at least 20 years now and clearly has zero interest in slowing down.
Charlie Sheen thinks that Hugh Hefner lived his life too virginally.
A little acting a lot of vagina and coke, Charlie is living up to Jim Morrison’s credo “I’m gonna get my kicks before the whole shit house goes up in flames!”
Charlie is out Keith Mooning Keith Moon. Charlie is Sheen is 45 and not slowing down. It’s Sheen vs. the death pool and so far Sheen is still winning.
Hell, I’d pay 100 bucks to see a Charlie Sheen documentary. Charlie Sheen is what Joaquin Phoenix only pretended to be. Where’s Sheen’s mockumentary?
Charlie – I wish you good luck, but please curb the Anti-Semitism and please, please stop treating your women violently. If you stop having wives and kids and restrict yourself to every porn actress in Chatsworth, may God’s grace be with you son!
Every publication in the world currently has a Charlie Seen obituary researched and ready to go at any moments notice!
Charlie Sheen is fighting the law and he seems to be winning!
