The Brad Laidman Law of Audio Equipment

I’ve owned the Beatles’ music now on 45 and 33 RPM vinyl, cassette, CD, and MP3. Today, I’m being told by the whole world that I now need to repurchase their new catalog because it’s been remastered. I’m told it will unearth a totally new world of beauty and genius that I’ve never been able to hear before.

My response: Blow me

It’s all happening on 9-09-09 as a celebration of John Lennon’s love and fascination with the number 9, but you know what John Lennon wouldn’t be caught dead freaking out over audiophile perfection. He knew it was mostly about soul. REO Speedwagon in the Blue Ray format is still REO Speedwagon.

Here’s the Brad Laidman Law of Audio Equipment

When I was a kid I listened to music on a cheap stereo. After being able to afford a better stereo, I realized that I could never listen to music on that same cheap stereo again.

That’s always the case. The more you upgrade the less you can go back without feeling like you’re listening to your music in a seedy hotel where two dogs are loudly mounting each other in the next room.

My solution. Don’t do it. Just stay happy with your crappy computer speakers. Resist the urge to buy $1500 Bose headphones unless you are rich enough to burn 100 dollar bills on chilly days. Take my word for it, audiophiles are pretentious asses. Spend your money on new music. You can live without experiencing Ringo’s “lost” kick drum on While My Guitar Gently Weeps. I promise.

And the same goes for all you wonks and your plasma television sets.

A shitty movie in high def is still a shitty movie. Maybe one movie out of 1000 absolutely needs to be seen in a theater. You can afford to watch the Hangover for the 40th time on an iPod.