Looking for someone who loves long walks on the beach

I’m a Democrat and I have to agree with what the right said about legal gay marriage. I just discovered that I want to marry a cocker spaniel. I am literally the slippery slope! And don’t try telling me you and a dog don’t have consent. They obviously haven’t ever had a dog. They will consent to anything for even the smallest piece of meat. I swear to God a year ago this would have seemed sickening to me, but after that court decision I may have to sue so me and my true love (insert dog’s name) can also have the sanctity of marriage to keep us together. They were right. A year ago I never thought about these things but it turns out that even though I am still heterosexual for women when it comes to dogs I’m totally gay. Who knew? Watch that slope slipping people!