Robert Goulet died today, which means Elvis is grabbing a gun up in heaven. It was Goulet’s passionless singing that inspired the King to shoot his first TV set.
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Monthly Archives: October 2007
The Worst Job Interviewee of All Time
I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, “Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?” He said, “I don’t know.” I …
Morals by Joe Strummer
“I wouldn’t steal money off a friend, but I’d steal his girlfriend.”
Morgan Freeman: Master Narrator
Saw the trailer for bucket list, and you know it’s gotten to be an amazing cliche to have this guy read heartfelt narrative given that he’s done it quite a few times. But hearing just 20 seconds of it, I can’t blame anyone for having him do it – he’s that good at it. It’s …
I Love Manny Ramirez
I’m making it official. Manny Ramirez is my all time favorite baseball player. I’m just basing this on raw talent and entertainment value. I’d say that I admire Jackie Robinson more or whatever, but for sheer joy and insane entertainment value, there is nothing like Manny.
“The Age of the Moron” brought to you by Pepsident!
Robert Redford made a fairly entertaining movie entitled Quiz Show that, despite his popularity and generally popular reviews, was considered to be something of a flop. If I were to assign a reason for the film’s failure at the time, I probably would have chalked it up to a general lack of violence and nudity. …
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Finally the Bopper gets his own movie!
I hate to mock any artists, especially ones who like vintage 50’s music, but …
Florida vs. Joe Francis
Sometimes, right wingers can be funny, albeit in a deeply spine chilling scary way. The other day I saw some guy on a panel show mention Joe Francis. He said something to the effect of, “Yeah, they’re really putting the screws to that guy, but then again he’s a smut monger so I really don’t …
My Grandfather on California Disasters
My late Grandfather was for some reason proud to be a Clevelander. One of his daughter’s proudly lived in Los Angeles. Everytime there was some sort of California-centric disaster (quake, flood, drought, fire, riot), he’d call her, make sure she was alright and mockingly say, “But it’s warm!”
Bruce Lee: A Warrior’s Journey
You can’t go wrong watching any of Bruce Lee’s completed films, and I have a special place in my heart for Rob Cohen’s Dragon, which posits Lee’s life had it resembled something as exciting as one of his films (and maybe it did), but for anyone really interested in the man as an intellectual of …
Do I Hear 2 Trillion?
Jesus, I hate to care about politics. Only a couple hours over gasping at the 500 Billion we’ve spent on the Iraq war, I go pick up a copy of USA Today (for the crossword and the Gossip Girl article), and I see that we’re estimating that this morass will cost us 1.9 trillion more …
500 Billion Dollars!
500 Billion Dollars! That’s what the Iraq war has cost us so far. So next time someone tells you that we have done good things over there, ask them to ponder whether it was worth 500 Billion Dollars! Couldn’t we have just put a 10 million dollar price tag on Saddam Hussein and gotten the …
Don’t Be Ashamed to Love Hogan’s Heroes!
TV Guide, as if that’s ever been a magazine you should be proud to read, came out a few years ago and named Hogan’s Heroes the fifth worst television show in the history of the medium. Really? Are we that politically correct now? Do people really think this show is in such bad taste that it …
Flomax
Where is the FCC when I need them? Can we stop worrying about people’s kids seeing a stray nipple and start protecting me from these creepy commercials where guys camp, swim, golf, and cookout, while bonding over their decreased urinary problems?
The Patriot
The Patriot is a very “American” movie in that not only does America win the war, but it has to all be done by one guy (Mel Gibson – not very American). There’s nothing more American than some reluctant guy becoming a killing machine and at one point telling his arch enemy, “Before this war …