Countdown with Keith Olbermann


This show is really playing havoc with my conspiracy theories. If the Government really were as evil and incompetent as I and Keith believe them to be, would he really still be alive? Maybe the Government is so evil that it knows that nothing Keith Olbermann could throw at them really matters, and it makes them look tolerant of free speech.

Keith thinks that he’s Edward R. Murrow, which is a pretty big conceit seeing that his previous gig was showing sports bloopers in a smarmy albeit hip and fairly intelligent way. The show shouldn’t be called Countdown with Keith Olbermann when “George W. Bush: Evil, Stupid or Both?” with Keith Olbermann would be so much more accurate.

Keith announces ever single show with a “man who has seen lots of Nazi footage on the History channel and won’t let it happen again” kind of zeal. Keith thinks he’s doing live play by play on World War III. I’m not totally sure, but at the end of his show he gives an editorial special comment, which seems kind of silly, because the entire show is really just an editorial special comment.

Regular Countdown: No, Mr. Bush you were wrong the American people will not stand for such treachery.

Editorial Countdown: (foaming at the mouth with lots of dramatic pauses and an intensity that rises to a climax after three minutes coming home to a resolution of determined despair) Guilty, Mr. Bush, Guilty. The American people will not stand for such treachery. Pants on Fire – ON FIRE – Mr. Bush!

It’s the kind of show that Orson Welles in his prime would have put on the air as a hugely profitable extremely crass practical joke. Imagine how funny it would be in say the Millard Fillmore administration.

You really either have to jump on the bandwagon and agree wholeheartedly that we have a more corrupt current administration than Nixon and Reagan combined; flip over from the Fox Channel just to see what the nut ball is saying about our troops; or just laugh yourself silly. The good thing is that it’s fairly entertaining to boot. And perhaps that’s why the Government knows it doesn’t matter.

Politics in our country has devolved into an “I’m 100% right you’re 100% wrong” type of thing. It’s all become preaching to the devoted. If you have a political talk radio show and you let in a call that disagrees with you every 100 or so calls that air, then you are the fairest radio host in the country. If the host has a guest on from the opposing viewpoint, you can be pretty sure that the guest’s IQ is somewhere between 25 and 75. Today we’ll be talking to the stupidest person who disagrees with me that I could find.

My guess is half of the people who pay attention to politics are just looking to feel better about themselves and their opinions. I put about 5% in the super educated political dork column. The other 45% I attribute to people who don’t really see it as being any different than sports leagues or reality shows. It’s just more famous people to gossip about, celebrities for pseudo-intellectuals with a chip on their shoulders.

Here’s the truth. All I really care about is stay out of a war. That’s my political orientation. The notion of War and Adventure lasted with me about as long as the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan. I have a much lesser chance of being blown up or having all of my things destroyed if we are not in a war.

It’s bad enough to be in a war, but we started it. Now I have to decide how guilty I feel about this. Is it bad enough to take the streets and start blowing things up? Am I going to be on trial if we lose?

I’m just irritated. Keith constantly looks like he’s seconds from going underground and starting his own movement.

It’s pretty simple how this will turn out. In 15 years, we’ll all either be throwing huge tributes to Keith Olbermann or watching old clips of him on the Comedy Channel. It’s a good decision for Olbermann. He’ll either be our own Princess Diana or he’ll go back to doing sports bloopers. Sure some redneck might try to take a shot at him, but that just makes him our next John Lennon. He’s really in a Win, Win, Win situation.

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