Saw this today some brief thoughts
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Monthly Archives: December 2007
Dr. Phil on mothering
Dr. Phil: We know the Spears family, particularly the parents. An asset that Britney and Jamie Lynn both have is a great and dedicated mother. Isn’t the definition of a great and dedicated mother sort of that your daughters don’t get pregnant at 16 or become Britney Spears?
Roger Clemens and the state of the modern denial
Roger Clemens isn’t stupid enough to go in front of Congress determined not to talk about the past. Clemens just posted a video on his website denying that he ever used illegal substances to defy modern time like nearly no other pitcher in the history of baseball. http://www.rogerclemensonline.com/
Paul McCartney desperate for song ideas
Why is Paul McCartney dating Rosanna Arquette? He’s obviously dealing with writer’s block and figures that if it worked for Peter Gabriel (In Your Eyes) and Toto (Rosanna) it will work for him. Sucks to see your heroes age.
Time for corporations to take some blame for kid star flameouts
With the recent scandalous underage pregnancy of Jamie-Lynn Spears, it’s about time that these huge entertainment complexes take some responsibility for their tween profiteering. We have strict child labor laws in this country, but they don’t seem to apply to children with fat paychecks. Robert Blake, Frankie Lymon, Michael Jackson, Danny Bonaduce, Edward Furlong, Britney Spears, …
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Nightswimming
This short story is basically the first real thing I ever tried to write around 1987. I turned it into some school journal and wasn’t chosen to be in it. I’m mostly Chris, but my friend Dave is in there too. My friend Doug is Doug, and the reason I’m bald today is probably because of …
C.C. Deville Is Love Sick!
This is my pitch for a new reality show This would be like Bret Michaels Rock of Love with a twist. We would find an over the hill, single, posing, hair metal, has been, like say C.C. Deville, who I actually find to be pretty amusing. We then turn him loose in a house of …
Kiss and Disneyland
I used to have a next door neighbor, whose two favorite things were the band Kiss and Disneyland, which I always found odd because when I think of the two, the only thing that comes to mind is overt capitalism at its worst. Both entities seem to me to be all about fleecing you out …
Final Proof That I’m Cursed
I give up. God just hates me. I’ve been trying to meet this writer for the Cleveland Plain Dealer, Michael Heaton for like 15 years now. In 1992, I sent my mother to tape record a talk he gave at a local library because I wasn’t in town and wanted to learn how to be …
Steroid Enigmas
See steroids have been a problem for so long that Phil Hartman was alive at the time! Now that a prominent pitcher has been accused of juicing, I’ve now heard that both batting statistics and pitching statistics post roids are meaningless. So if Barry Bonds faces Roger Clemens does anyone hear a tree fall? How long …
George Carlin
Carlin isn’t like Lenny Bruce because he’s profane. He’s like Bruce because he is fascinated with words and enraged at the way they are used to keep people down. There’s a group of people that wish that George was satisfied with just being clever. His examination of the slang in baseball and football is funny …
Not Good Enough For Border’s
The humiliation continues. It’s even worse than the title. I wasn’t even good enough to be Christmas time temporary help at Borders.
Paparazzi Hypocrites
I just watched an 8 minute piece on CNN purporting to take a serious look at whether paparazzi are out of control after a run in recently with Julia Roberts. The piece ends with a debate on paparazzi tactics. But here’s the problem, how can CNN claim to be looking at this from both sides when …
Nickleodeon Nightmare
Jamie-Lynn Spears is pregnant at 16. I’m sure that people at the top of the Nickleodeon pyramid are losing their mind. These “innocent” teen stars are big money. With this and their recent High School Musical nude photo scandal, my guess is that Disney is currently fitting Miley Cyrus with a chastity belt.
Maybe it’s just all chemicals
It’s odd sometimes I really feel so confident and excited to be alive that I think I’m practically the next Martin Luther King. Right now, despite the fact that I just won $500 playing poker, I feel like the biggest schmuck in the world. It’s time to get a corrupt dentist to hook me up …