The Pro Bowl is a complete waste of time, and if you really care who made it, you really need to take a long hard look at your life.
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Monthly Archives: December 2007
John Lennon Ruined Me
My favorite John Lennon vocals are the early ones with the killer bridges. The one’s where you could tell that every night of his life he longed for the ultimate love to come and save him. I just finished Dave Marsh’s new book The Beatles Second Album and as usual he sums it up far …
The Shawshank Trick Never Fails
ELIZABETH, New Jersey (AP) — Two inmates escaped from a county jail, hiding the holes they made in the walls by putting up photos of bikini-clad women, officials said. When are prison officials going to start watching movies?
The Most Gratuitous Shot in Cinema History
Let’s zoom in under Bijou’s skirt for no reason whatsoever The single issue I care most about politically is free speech and freedom of expression. This Film Is Not Yet Rated, which I have previously discussed, is I think one of the most important films made in the past decade. Stores with huge market shares, like Walmart, …
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Elvis Gladys and Me
I’m 42 today. It’s the same age that both Elvis Presley and his mother Gladys died. A lot of people say he missed her so much that he didn’t want to live any longer than she did She was actually a pretty fun woman, but you can see from the picture that once Elvis became …
Massacre at Central High
Heathers came out in 1988, and though I’ve never seen it mentioned, its author had to have seen this movie from 1976, because it’s basically the same movie minus the late ‘80’s jaded seen everything sensibility. I just stole it off of E Mule (don’t get mad I don’t think there is any legal …
Maybe I’m not the sports fan I once was.
Terry Pluto of the Plain Dealer wrote this about yesterday’s Brown’s victory. “If you were at Cleveland Browns Stadium on this gray day of dropping temperatures . . . Of whirling winds . . . Of blizzard warnings . . . Of chattering teeth and slushy seats . . . You’ll never forget what your …
Charming or Scary?
For some odd reason I’ve been downloading episodes of the show Lou Grant lately from iTunes. Eventually, I was like that Linda Kelsey sure is perky and cute, so I went over to imdb to see what else she had done, because I seemed to remember her from more than Lou Grant. She was also …
Shaking Hands with Heroes
I’ve stood in line to shake the hands of only two people in my life, Ray Davies and Muhammad Ali. Both were at book signings, and I highly recommend both. I had already purchased and read both books and had to shell out more money, but it was a price well paid for the signatures …
The ever classy New York Post
They ran the punriffic headline “Ike ‘Beats’ Tina to Death” the other day. Letting us all know that Ike Turner both died first and used to beat Tina. I’m sort of amused, but karmically I think I’ve doomed myself to hell. It sort of makes you wonder what a headline writer would need to come up …
Fad Alert: Paris buys a hybrid
“I changed all the light bulbs to energy-safe light bulbs and I’m buying a hybrid car right now,” said 26-year old Paris Hilton. “Little things that people can do every day to make a huge difference,” she said. A lot of people don’t like to hear celebrities voice their opinions on controversial subjects. Having seen …
It’s football they should be concerned about
Remember early steroid casualty Lyle Alzado? No? I’m not surprised. Everybody from formerly compliant Texas Rangers owner, George W. Bush, on down has their panties in a bunch over steroids in baseball. Meanwhile, the NFL locomotive storms through the universe unscathed and unquestioned and it’s a farce of epic proportions.
I didn’t inhale
Bill Clinton’s weak explaination of his marijauna use (heh, I actually somehow believe him) is going to become the excuse of choice for steroid users named by the Mitchel Report. Andy Pettitte and F.P. Santangelo are already on record with weak excuses about trying it once or twice and just because “I was injured.” Paul Byrd …
Lenny Bruce
Here’s one of my big personal issues. Somewhere along the way, maybe when I was a kid reading about how history was a function of great men, I bought into the chic of martyrdom. I’d rather be John Lennon, dead and gone, than Paul McCartney, happy and thriving. The notion that being remembered when you’ve …
Shocking news from Roger Clemens
By shocking, I don’t mean the steroid allegations, I sarcastically mean the denial. This is from CNN.com: “A lawyer for Roger Clemens strongly denies the seven-time Cy Young Award winner used performance-enhancing steroids. ‘He is really, really concerned and upset that he has been named in this report,’ said attorney Rusty Hardin.”