Finally, someone wants to hire me. I just got a phone call with a job offer from Lyft. It pays 20 dollars an hour and I can make my own schedule. Sounds fabulous. The woman who called laid it out and asked me some questions.
Lyft: Do you have a valid driver’s license?
Me: Yes
Lyft: Are you interested?
Me: Very much so
Lyft: Do you have a car newer than 2004.
Me: Yes, I have a nice 2014 Mustang
Lyft: Great your car needs to have four doors. Does it have four doors?
Me: No it has two.
Lyft: Great are you interested in driving for Lyft?
Me: Yes, very much so.
Lyft: Great. Do you have insurance?
Me: Yes. Very good insurance because I am a terrible driver.
Lyft: Great. Sounds like this is a perfect opportunity for you.
Me: Are you a person?
Lyft: Funny, I’m sorry I have never been asked that question before.
Me: Are you a person or a computer?
Lyft: Yes, would you like to drive for Lyft.
Me: Yes, but you just answered an either-or question with yes.
Lyft: Funny, I have never been asked that question. Let me transfer you to a person.
Me: Awesome.
Lyft (person): Hi, how can I help you.
Me: You offered me a job and I want to take it.
Lyft: Who offered you the job.
Me: Lyft, they just called me.
Lyft: Can I get your email.
Me: Sure, it is brad.laidman@gmail.com
Lyft: Ok, we’ll send you an email and you can apply.
Me: I don’t want to send you an email.
Lyft: Well, then you can’t get the job.
Me: I want the job but they told me I have to have a four-door car and mine only has two.
Lyft: Well, then you can call us when you have a four-door car.
Me: Great.
Lyft: We will send you an email.
Me: I don’t want an email. I get too many spam emails now, can’t I just call you.
Lyft: Yes
Me: Good. Please don’t phone me or send me any emails unless I call you.
Lyft: I can’t stop the emails
Me: Why?
Lyft: You have to unsubscribe from the survey you filled out.
Me: I never filled out any survey. Can’t you stop future emails?
Lyft: The email comes from the survey. You can unsubscribe there.
Me: How? I never filled out any survey where will I go to unsubscribe.
Lyft: You can unsubscribe when you get our email.
Me: I don’t want you to send me any emails. I just told you that.
Lyft: I can’t stop the emails. You can unsubscribe when you get our email.
Me: Thank you, I will please don’t call me and delete all my personal info.
Lyft: I put you on our do not call list, but I can’t delete the info or stop the email.
Me: Thanks.
Anyone have a cheap four-door car so I can make $20 dollars an hour driving badly for Lyft?
