Site icon Brad Laidman: Elvis Needs Boats

Lyft Offers Me a Job

Finally, someone wants to hire me. I just got a phone call with a job offer from Lyft. It pays 20 dollars an hour and I can make my own schedule. Sounds fabulous. The woman who called laid it out and asked me some questions.

Lyft: Do you have a valid driver’s license?

Me: Yes

Lyft: Are you interested?

Me: Very much so

Lyft: Do you have a car newer than 2004.

Me: Yes, I have a nice 2014 Mustang

Lyft: Great your car needs to have four doors. Does it have four doors?

Me: No it has two.

Lyft: Great are you interested in driving for Lyft?

Me: Yes, very much so.

Lyft: Great. Do you have insurance?

Me: Yes. Very good insurance because I am a terrible driver.

Lyft: Great. Sounds like this is a perfect opportunity for you.

Me: Are you a person?

Lyft: Funny, I’m sorry I have never been asked that question before.

Me: Are you a person or a computer?

Lyft: Yes, would you like to drive for Lyft.

Me: Yes, but you just answered an either-or question with yes.

Lyft: Funny, I have never been asked that question. Let me transfer you to a person.

Me: Awesome.

Lyft (person): Hi, how can I help you.

Me: You offered me a job and I want to take it.

Lyft: Who offered you the job.

Me: Lyft, they just called me.

Lyft: Can I get your email.

Me: Sure, it is brad.laidman@gmail.com

Lyft: Ok, we’ll send you an email and you can apply.

Me: I don’t want to send you an email.

Lyft: Well, then you can’t get the job.

Me: I want the job but they told me I have to have a four-door car and mine only has two.

Lyft: Well, then you can call us when you have a four-door car.

Me: Great.

Lyft: We will send you an email.

Me: I don’t want an email. I get too many spam emails now, can’t I just call you.

Lyft: Yes

Me: Good. Please don’t phone me or send me any emails unless I call you.

Lyft: I can’t stop the emails

Me: Why?

Lyft: You have to unsubscribe from the survey you filled out.

Me: I never filled out any survey. Can’t you stop future emails?

Lyft: The email comes from the survey. You can unsubscribe there.

Me: How? I never filled out any survey where will I go to unsubscribe.

Lyft: You can unsubscribe when you get our email.

Me: I don’t want you to send me any emails. I just told you that.

Lyft: I can’t stop the emails. You can unsubscribe when you get our email.

Me: Thank you, I will please don’t call me and delete all my personal info.

Lyft: I put you on our do not call list, but I can’t delete the info or stop the email.

Me: Thanks.

Anyone have a cheap four-door car so I can make $20 dollars an hour driving badly for Lyft?