American Splendor Sideways American Splendor is about a guy like me, a semi-successful semi-loser writer from Cleveland After identifying way too much with Sideways I sent a note to my friend Grant that went something like this. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to be Elvis Presley and who do I turn out to be? …
Monthly Archives: September 2007
Walter Payton: Most Unfair Death of All Time
Your mom probably told you that life is unfair. Here’s all the proof you’ll ever need. Walter Payton dead at 45. OJ Simpson, 60 years old and still ticking. Lou Gehrig may come close, but for me this is the most unfair somewhat natural death of all time.
Reese’s Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Creme Cups
Like post 1975 Elvis, I don’t know whether to be amused or appalled.
Dennis Wilson: Lost Genius
River Song – Dennis Wilson Forever – Dennis Wilson For the rebel in all of us there is Dennis Wilson. You can’t really argue that Brian Wilson wasn’t 99% of the Beach Boys, but for the ornery among us who never like to agree with everybody else there is the Dennis Wilson theory. You know …
Steven Banks Home Entertainment Center!!!
One of the most amazing lost performances of all time, Steven Banks: Home Entertainment Center was a one man show filmed as a 1989 Showtime special. Introduced and lauded by Penn and Teller, the fact that this gem is mysteriously unavailable on DVD is one of the bigger crimes of the entertainment world’s current landscape. I …
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I Fought ACME9 and ACME9 Won: Part 1 Starting Out Like a Champion!
I’m assigning blame for this job death: 20% on myself, 40% on ungodly bad luck, and 40% on ACME9.
The Condom Catch 22
I guess I must be dumb cuz u had a pocket full of horses Trojan and some of them used You know it sucks when you have to use them And It sucks when you have no reason to use them
All Music Guide Loves All Music
Here’s a fun exercise for you. I really like AMG – www.allmusicguide.com But try to find an artist that they dislike. John Tesh – nope. Kenny G – nope. Barry Manilow – nope. Pat Boone – nope. C’mon somebody out there must suck!
Another Great Movie Blurb
I just heard an ad that proclaims that the Heartbreak Kid, which looks abominably bad, is “probably the best movie made by Ben Stiller and the Farrelly Brothers since There’s Something about Mary.” It would be hard not to be since it’s the only movie made by Ben Stiller and the Farrelly Brothers since There’s …
Rock Hall Nominees: Yawn.
For anyone who still cares, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced its nominees for next year’s induction. Here’s my thoughts on who should and shouldn’t make it.
Hall of Fame Should Refuse Defaced Bonds Ball
The Baseball Hall of Fame should refuse to accept a donation of the ball Barry Bonds hit for his record breaking 756th home run, and it has nothing to do with Barry.
Drunk Driving Stars Must Go
Jack Bauer finally got taken down by an illegal U-Turn. I’m hardly a member of MADD. If you screw up once in a while and drive home a tad over the limit, I can understand to a certain extent, but it’s just inexcusable for rich celebrities.
The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend
In the recent furor over the Iranian President’s bigoted collegiate appearance, I sort of wondered who he hated more, Jews or Homosexuals.
I Fought ACME9 and ACME9 Won: Part 4 Uncle Fester becomes Hero to the Proletariat!
After a couple months, the firm takes a company trip to New Orleans. The first night a ton of people get extremely drunk and cause havoc. The next company trip winds up being a trip to Milwaukee.
I Fought ACME9 and ACME9 Won: Part 3 Monstrous Early Losses!
Finally, I get to trade. They give me one of four accounts. My account has about 13 million dollars in haircut, which is what they refer to the amount of money the account is using to cover its risk. Skagnetti tells me that my account has a ton of edge in it and will make …
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