Tom Cruise DOES kill Hitler – Katie Holmes and Suri applaud! Nationwide promo tour follows climaxing with an electric appearance on Oprah, where she thanks Tom for ridding the world of evil.
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Monthly Archives: December 2008
RIP Dock Ellis
It takes a very special guy to throw a no hitter on LSD They don’t make em like they used to
My Genius Original Script Idea
I always pitch script ideas to my friend Grant, and he always says “Who would want to watch that besides you?” So I think I’ve finally come up with something that I’m sure would be a big box office success for me to write. It’s going to be called Iron Man 2. I figure that …
More inane movie blurbs
I’ve now seen this commercial for some “Mummy” DVD about 100 times (which doesn’t say much for how much I get out, but …) – I think it’s Mummy 3, but for all I know it could be the 37th of the series. Anyway it boasts “Roger Ebert says it’s the best of the Mummy …
I hate the Cleveland Browns
Truth be told I stopped rooting for this team the day they cut Bernie Kosar. When the team first left it was just icing on the cake, but now our relationship has moved from indifference to out and out hate. Tonight, the local Fox affiliate will be showing the 4-9 Browns led by a third …
First Annual Baseball Hall of Shame Inductions
I’ve been hearing that Roger Clemens might not make the Hall of Fame – so I’m opening my own Hall of Shame – possibly in Scranton, Pennsylvania or Compton, California. Along with Clemens, our initial induction class will include: Pete Rose: All Time Hit Leader Barry Bonds: All Time Home Run Leader Joe Jackson: Second …
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Where was the Secret Service?
Isn’t it every Secret Service agent’s dream to take a shoe for the President? Where were these dudes when the Buster Browns were being fired? Obama better forget health care and reorganize his security detail. Those dudes just ambled over to that shoe thrower as if he was a irate toddler throwing a fit.
Elvis on Scientology – Keep your Thetans to yourself
“Stuff those people! There’s no way I’ll ever get involved with that son-of-a-doggn’ group. All they want is my money.” This wasn’t just a hurried view. Elvis spent a lot of time studying various religions and theories of spiritualism in search for the answers to life’s bigger questions. Sadly, the only real solution he came up …
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Jennifer Aniston NOT nude on GQ cover
I hate to sound like a pig, but stop trying to titillate me with headlines about actresses appearing nude. Nude is showing your naughty stuff not covering it up seductively. Nude is what you do when your career hits the Dana Plato level. Ok, I admit, she looks pretty good, but false advertising is false …
A message of holiday love from Rev Ken Hutcherson
“Hey, I believe in Jesus Christ and if you don’t that’s OK because you’re going to fry like a Jimmy Dean Pork Sausage on Judgement Day,”