273 writers who have committed suicide Doug Stanhope: Life is like animal porn, it’s not for everybody. Miles Raymond: Well, the world doesn’t give a shit what I have to say. I’m not necessary. Had. I’m so insignificant I can’t even kill myself. Jack: Miles, what the hell is that supposed to mean? Miles Raymond: …
Kim Ronson Colorado Republican Delegate Shotgun weddings are great that means that people are facing the consequences of things that they’ve done. You know sometimes teenagers can make really good moms. Gosh, Mary the mother of Jesus was 13 or 14. I think she was a pretty good mom. I’ll give her this much. If …
Continue reading “The Single Stupidest Thing I’ve Ever Heard”
My friend Grant used to mock me because I’ve only voted once. He was all every vote counts etc, and I was like show me the last presidential election that was decided by one vote. That was right before the Bush-Gore election, and of course he called to mock and blame me, to which I …
Continue reading “The thing I really hate about Sarah Palin”
I’m a little shocked to see that this is actually getting some decent run, seeing that he’s only played 43 games so far, but he is hitting .400 with a slugging percentage of .750. He’s reinvigorated the Dodger clubhouse, they’re likely going to win their division going away, and apparently Buddy Biancalana could hit .350 …
A conspiracy of epic proportions was exposed today when wack job Stephen Baldwin wandered into his brother Alec’s house uninvited and promptly wrote an emergency missive to Karl Rove. Apparently a cabal of Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Willie Nelson were hatching a complex plot to kidnap Sarah Palin and surreptitiously …
In today’s era of play not to lose, and don’t say anything that could be construed as interesting (see Bill Belichick) I wish every manager was Ozzie Guillen. In fact I’m ready to pay for the service that lets Ozzie converse uncensored like Howard Stern. Meanwhile play the Ozzie Guillen fill in the expletive game. …
When it comes to women running for our highest office, or the 2nd highest office as the running mate of a guy ready to drop dead at any second. I think of Bill Hicks’ comment on women priests. “Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.” I really have …
Help me find Tony “Crash” Martin my Cleveland guitar hero With a little help from Dino I made my way to Joe’s music in Willoughby and found my old guitar teacher inspiring yet another generation of long haired disaffected youth. Tony’s apparently finally had it with cover bands and is going to finally put …
Bob Dylan special currently on PBS, which of course means they are once again asking for money. I intend to point this out every time that it happens, which is of course every time they have a pledge drive. Rock and Roll Night on PBS Here’s a choice quote “You can tell from the past …
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night hungry. I grabbed a Drumstick ice cream cone, brought it back into bed, and proceeded to fall back asleep about three quarters through the tasty treat. Really, it’s only a matter of time before someone dedicates a school or a shrine to me.
Kate Hudson on ex-husband Chris Robinson in Cosmopolitan : Look – we’re still basically living together! We’ve figured it out. I mean, obviously, nothing’s perfect, but I could never look at (our divorce) as a mistake. If anything, it’s the best thing that ever happened to us. Spoken just like a woman who caused Owen …
I’ve always wanted to have a newspaper column so the following is likely tainted by my own jealousy. I hate Craig Wilson. Craig Wilson writes a regular column for USA Today’s Life section, and he’s basically the equivalent of a hotel painting, bland, gutless and designed not to offend. The next thing Craig Wilson writes that …
I had money, and I had none I had money, and I had none But I never been so broke That I couldn’t leave town – Jim Morrison
Right before he died from lymphatic cancer, Joey Ramone recorded this ode to CNBC’s New York Stock Exchange floor reporter, Maria Bartiromo. 1. He never really did seem like a business report kind of guy. One of the funnest things I’ve ever seen was Joey Ramone and his mother on some daytime talk show with a …
Finally found a copy of Julian Temple’s doc Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten There is an amusing if sad section where a friend of Joe’s remembers that he dressed her down about her decision to quit smoking, where he railed against the vicious modern suppression of the act and posited that most of the …
