I’ve always wanted to be the cranky old rich guy in the Shirley Temple movie. He loves Shirley, but hates the rest of his family who kiss his ass hoping to cash in on his inheritance. So here’s to Walter “Buck” Swords. Buck ate at some diner all the time, acted like a cantankerous crank, …
As if it wasn’t bad enough that parents around the world were all going into hock to buy scalped tickets to the Miley Cyrus tour, a woman just admitted that she helped her six year old daughter fake an essay about her father dying in Iraq to win four tickets to the hot tour. Apparently, …
I just saw this on CNN.com. Stephen King’s views are pretty close to those I voiced earlier in The Unholy Trinity
I just continue to be amazed by how many of these televangelist infomercials there are. I thought that we’d gotten past that as a culture. Kerney Thomas looks like John Amos in Coming to America and acts just like Arsenio Hall’s preacher in the same movie, you know the one who introduces Randy Watson and …
I’m not exactly sure just how this happened, but one day apparently Hannah Montana was a repeat and I wound up watching CSPAN’s coverage of a Harvard Law School event, where a bunch of big wigs, including the sexually over curious Kenneth Starr, reargued the Dread Scott case in front of a bunch of judges including …
AC Green is an iron man. Most people call him that because he played in 1192 straight professional basketball games. I call him that because he remained a virgin until he got married at 38! Remember, this guy was teammates with both Magic Johnson, who was screwing anything that moved before he tested HIV positive, …
I’m a sucker for these things, especially the end credits where they tell you how successful the kids, who had been on their way to death or jail have become in real life. I was just watching this type of sequence at the end of the Sam Jackson movie Coach Carter, and yet I couldn’t …
Chris Rock has a funny routine about flunking Black history because he thought the answer to every question was Martin Luther King. Just to be safe nowadays you should just always answer King as if you were on Jeopardy.
I’m watching this as I type this. I really thought it was impossible to make a movie this bad these days. It’s so wretched I literally can’t look away. Jimmy Fallon makes Steve Guttenberg look like a masterful comedic actor. Is his character supposed to be retarded? Poor Queen Latifah, she used to be so cool …
Is it just me or does anyone else think that Valerie Bertinelli got fat just for the publicity and the Jenny Craig endorsement deal?
I’m a big Frank Capra fan, but I just heard a quote from It’s a Wonderful Life that’s made me think:
God, today is a tough day for me. I’m such a huge fan of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, but I’m also Jewish, and now I have to pick sides after Will decided to reference Hitler and the JDL immediately called for a boycott. OK, I choose the Fresh Prince.
In honor of the Will Smith JDL feud I offer this brilliantly profane routine by Doug Stanhope, who bravely responds to an inaccurate accusation that he said something anti-semetic, by deciding that he’s railed against every other religion why not take on the Jews too. Listen carefully and you’ll realize that Stanhope, of course, isn’t anti-Jew, …
I’m going to call him by his initials, K-A-M, since I don’t want his name showing up with porn in google searches, although actually he might take that as a complement given the title of the post.
I have almost no ability to pick up women at bars or parties. The better the conversation I have with them the more embarrassed I am to ask them out and risk making them think I was hitting on them the entire time. I have no game whatsoever.
