I’ve always wanted to be the cranky old rich guy in the Shirley Temple movie. He loves Shirley, but hates the rest of his family who kiss his ass hoping to cash in on his inheritance. So here’s to Walter “Buck” Swords. Buck ate at some diner all the time, acted like a cantankerous crank, swore constantly, and when he died he left the waitress he put through hell $50,000 and a 2000 Buick. This will definitely be my future. I just hope I have the 50K to leave someone when I croak.

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As if it wasn’t bad enough that parents around the world were all going into hock to buy scalped tickets to the Miley Cyrus tour, a woman just admitted that she helped her six year old daughter fake an essay about her father dying in Iraq to win four tickets to the hot tour. Apparently, the father is in Iraq, but has so far refused to cooperate with her daughter’s Disney wishes, by failing to die yet. Selfish bastard.

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I just saw this on CNN.com. Stephen King’s views are pretty close to those I voiced earlier in The Unholy Trinity

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I just continue to be amazed by how many of these televangelist infomercials there are. I thought that we’d gotten past that as a culture. Kerney Thomas looks like John Amos in Coming to America and acts just like Arsenio Hall’s preacher in the same movie, you know the one who introduces Randy Watson and his band, Sexual Chocolate.

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I’m not exactly sure just how this happened, but one day apparently Hannah Montana was a repeat and I wound up watching CSPAN’s coverage of a Harvard Law School event, where a bunch of big wigs, including the sexually over curious Kenneth Starr, reargued the Dread Scott case in front of a bunch of judges including Stephen Breyer of the Supreme Court.

Being someone who is never not fascinated by Supreme Court cases, I found this exercise to be … a complete and utter waste of time. Clarence Thomas masturbating to pornography is a more significant cultural event.

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